Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Is Your Marriage Troubled? Get the Solution Here!



·         There are about 60 marriage related posts on this blog, which address your marriage to make it a better place to live in. The next worse place to live in apart from the Biblical Hell is a bad marriage. Some of the links to the posts on this blog that solve your marital challenges are stated below:

      If you are a wife and you have a mother-in-law troubling the peace and stability of your marriage, or you are the one troubling your mother-in-law, read my blog posts on this issue. The links are:

·         It is a tragedy if you close your eyes to fundamental issues in the life of your partner. You should know your partner inside out before you make the final commitment to marry him. Read the article titled ‘Love is not blind’ and the link to it is:

·         If you are a husband and you want to avoid being a party to discordant tunes in your marriage, read the article titled ‘3 reasons to blame a husband for marital distress’ and how to play right. The link is:

·         If you want to know the areas where differences usually occur and how to manage them for marital stability, read the post titled’ Understanding Gender Differences’. However, take note that the post will soon be updated to provide more details.

·         if you are a man and you want to know those things you must accept about your woman to have a workable marriage, read the post titled’ Six things I accept about my wife’. The link is:

·         If your marriage is lacking intimacy and you need to refire it, read the post that discusses it and the link is:  http://www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com/2012/11/lacking-intimacy-in-that-marriage.html

·         Many marriages easily go stale or sour losing its freshness. To keep your marriage fresh again, visit the link: http://www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com/2012/11/keep-marriage-fresh.html

·         If you are a Christian and you want to know what it takes to be a good Christian husband, visit the link: http://www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com/2012/11/want-to-be-good-christian-husband_3806.html

The only reason why many marriages are scattering is because there is no cleavage. The couples do not cleave and to cleave, there must be a leaving. The reason why a mother-in-law interferes in the marriage of her son is because the son failed to cleave unto his wife. For details, visit the link:

God created marriage and has an instruction manual guiding the affairs of marriage. One of the instructions is Genesis 2:24 and it is the basis of every truly successful marriage. If your marriage is distressed, it could be because you violated this instruction. Learn about it by visiting the two links below:

·         There are times every couple should see a marriage counselor. No one knows it all in marriage which is a school from which no one graduates until death does them part. To know when to see a counselor as a stitch in time, visit the link:

·         If your spouse is not living up to your expectations, what do you do? Visit the link below for answers:

·         What can make a person who made a public commitment to a life-long union decide to quit? When this happens, what do you do? Visit the link below for suggestions:

·         For any marriage to work, the spouses must be committed to making it work. There are few successful marriages on Earth. If you want to know what makes a marriage successful and want yours to be in that league, visit the link below:

·         The majority of people marry the wrong partners like I thought I did. Very few persons ever locate their Mr. Right or Miss Right. There is a school of thought that says there is no Mr. or Miss Right anywhere, that you can marry a Mr. Available and ‘learn to love’ him. If you think that you married the wrong person, visit the link:

·         Women are fragile and can easily fall out of love. The woman needs attention as much as possible. If you neglect her, a more ‘caring’ man can take your place in her heart. When your woman does not love you anymore, what do you do? Visit the link:

·         Many people are in love in marriage but very few are friends. When the love wanes, the friendship keeps the couple going. Learn more by checking the link: http://www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com/2012/11/friends-in-marriage.html

·         You want to know the price to pay to be intimate in marriage? The marriage is dead where intimacy is dead already. Visit the link:

·         The majority of married men worldwide rape their wives. Many men will not admit this. And many wives do not believe that they are being raped. But it is a rape when a man forces his wife to have sex with him against her will and consent. The African cultural concept of marriage promotes this abuse. This marital rape, which is a sexual abuse of the wife, is a silent destroyer of marriage worldwide. It defeats the basis of the relationship. For more details visit the link:
&    to access my book titled ‘Solutions to Sexual Abuses in Marriage, the link is http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GS4SVZI

·         There is a mix-up between love and sex. There is more to loving a woman than jumping into bed with her. Visit the link: http://www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com/2012/11/love-is-not-sex.html

·         The second major reason why marriages are crashing is due to lack of effective communication. The stress in your marriage could be due to this factor. Visit the link below for more details:

·         The third major reason why many marriages are distressed is because the 21st century wife sees submission to her husband as modern day enslavement.To know the true meaning of submission, find out in the link below:

·         We cannot live on Earth without money. Marriage needs money. The wife needs it. Many women will abandon a marriage where money is scarce. Get the details in the post below:

·         Are you fulfilled in marriage?  Visit the link below:
·         Divorce is forbidden in marriage because God forbade it (Malachi 2:14-16) (Romans 7:1-3). If you divorce here on earth, take note that the marriage is still standing before God. And you cannot enter into the Kingdom of God as an adulterer or adulteress, which you are, if you have divorced and remarried. I am a strong opponent of divorce in marriage and I will never support it. I will never divorce my wife no matter what happens. Rather I propose ways for you to avoid it. Visit the link below: http://www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-3-major-keys-to-prevent-divorce.html

·         Domestic violence in marriage is a worldwide practice. How it occurs, visit the link below:

Ayodele Adegbulugbe
www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com

Sunday, December 22, 2013

SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL ABUSES IN MARRIAGE (1)



This is a marital affairs blog; therefore the blog posts discuss marriage related affairs. There are about 60 marriage based posts or articles on the blog.The posts on this blog address either of two issues:
1         What a person should do before getting married.
For example, there is an article on ‘Love Is Not Blind’ discussing issues you must know about your partner before you make the final commitment to marry. The link is:  http://www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com/2012/11/love-is-not-blind.html

2      The way forward
I have a strong belief that a bad marriage must not be broken on any account. Some of the posts below discuss the way forward when you find yourself in a failing marriage that does not meet your expectations. I am looking at the sexual function which also is one of the most important ingredients to successful marriage. The craze for sex is one of the reasons why many get married. 

I belong to the Christian faith and the Bible says that a man who cannot keep himself should get married to avoid fornication. The bible also encourages unhindered sexual rapport between husband and wife (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). Sex is a communication tool and I read in Dag Heward Mills’s book, The Model Marriage, that sex is a tool that can be used to assess the health of a marriage.

In this view, I am looking at the subject of sexual abuse in marriage which is a common occurence in marriages worldwide. Looking at this subject critically, sexual abuses in marriage ought not to occur. The woman is also part of the blame though the society blames the man for this. One of the causes is the inability to manage the vast differences between a man and his wife. The article 'Understanding Gender Differences' on this blog give some detail and the link is:  http://www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com/2012/11/understanding-gender-differences.html
Sexual abuses occur in many marriages across the world and is a silent killer of marriage. It is an issue which the victims are not willing to discuss which leads to ill-feelings that soon mushroom into gigantic proportions that may signal the collapse of the marriage.

There is an article on sexual abuses on this blog but recently, I concluded a comprehensive 63 page book on it titled ‘SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL ABUSES IN MARRIAGE’. The book is available at the Amazon Kindle website and one of the links to it is: 
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GS4SVZI

Where sexual abuses occur in marriage that leads to distress, the husband is the arrow head of the abuse. The article '3 Reasons to Blame a Husband for Marital Distress':  http://www.relationship4growth.blogspot.com/2012/11/3-reasons-to-blame-husband-for-marital.html
Ayodele Adegbulugbe
Lagos, Nigeria




Saturday, November 3, 2012

LACKING INTIMACY IN THAT MARRIAGE?

Marriage is something that can be quite complicated. Some couples will not only be partners, but they will also be friends, lovers and parents in many instances. But there can be times when one part of the relationship may become mixed up and it will throw off the whole relationship. Struggling through a marriage that has no intimacy can be something that will affect the overall relationship. Each part of that relationship will change due to just the one part being off. But there is still help out there and ways that you can get back to where you once were in your relationship.

Many people will often feel that the reason for a lack of intimacy will be due to the fact of one of the partners having put on some weight. It's something that will happen as one ages and gets older, and well if you are in that category don't let it bug you. Actually there is probably little to do with the lack of intimacy that you are experiencing and your weight gain. Because you should have a relationship that isn't based on only physical appearances.

For many marriages the lack of intimacy will actually come about from a conflict that may be present. It could be something that is constantly coming up between the two partners and causing verbal battles too. Any matter that you leave open and unresolved will lead to a resentment that can grow and affect how you and your partner are intimate. Fixing those unresolved problems will be the first step that you need to take when trying to get your marriage back in balance.

Even the fact that you may not have as much time together or that you have children can often lead to less intimacy in a marriage. It is then when you need to work around and make sure that you have time that you can spend together, even if only a bit each week. Keeping your marriage in tack and the balance restored to normal.













































KEEP THE MARRIAGE FRESH

When you have been together in a marriage or relationship for years it is easy to take it for granted. Decades together can make you complacent. This can have a not so great end result.

It is important to not find yourself taking your good relationship for granted or assume that it is in great shape. You avoid this by going on dates every few weeks. You need to do this without fail on a regular schedule. Dates are an often overlooked thing that can bring help romance return.

Freshness in a marriage can be kept up with dating. There needs to be no pressure to drop a lot of money to impress your partner. Keeping it simple is just fine.

The goal is to spend time with just your spouse. You will remember what brought you together in the first place. You will feel the romance you had at the start.

Spouses, especially women, jump to conclusions if you do not keep going out on dates with them. It is easy to jump to the conclusion that your spouse does not go out on dates with you because they do not want to be seen with you or no longer feel the same way about them. You do not want this to happen.

Get a calendar out and set times to have dates on a regular basis. Spice it up with different ideas in addition to the usual dinner and a movie.

Get creative sometimes with your ideas. Do something you have never done together before. Go on a hike or do something that your spouse likes and maybe is not your favorite. Foster romance.

If you have children, be prepared to get a babysitter. Kids are no place for a date. It is time for you to be alone. Dates are good for your intimate relations and your entire relationship.

WANT TO BE A GOOD CHRISTIAN HUSBAND?

Note, at the outset, that Ephesians 5 starts off with the words, "So be imitators of God, as his dear children."

Imitators of God?
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Yes, exactly. God expects you, as the husband in your relationship, to imitate Him. That means you have to follow God in your marriage.

Love Your Wife
The first requirement of the Bible is that you have to love your wife.

And how do you imitate God in love?

This might not come as a surprise to you - God's love for his people was so great that He let his own Son die on the cross of Calvary just so that his people would have a way to be excused of their sins.

In similar manner you should be willing to die for your wife. And while it is surely meant to be interpreted literally, you should also interpret it figuratively.

In other words, you should let your own desires "die" if they are standing in the way of your wife's desires. Example: If you want to go play golf this Saturday, but your wife really wants you to go with her to get the groceries for the month, then you should crucify your desire and cheerfully assist your wife with the grocery shopping.

I am sure you can come up with many more examples of this in action.

Be Faithful to Your Wife
In Ephesians 5: 3 we read, "Do not let sexual sin, impurity of any kind, or greed even be mentioned among you, as is proper for saints."

Being unfaithful to your wife is not only against God's will, it is also one of the most guaranteed ways to break up your marriage.

Most men that cheat do it from a fundamental lack of respect for their wives. It comes, probably, from the age when a woman was seen as a man's property, for him to do with as he wishes.

This lack of respect, however, goes against all that is holy in the marriage, and therefore it is against God's will.

Submit To Your Wife
"Wow, that is a new idea," you say.

No, not really. It is found in Ephesians 5: 21, "Submit yourselves to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Notice that it does not only say that a wife should submit to her husband, but also that the husband should submit to his wife.

The key thing here is to know what the will of God is, and submit to your wife if she shows you that you have strayed from the path that is God's will.

Be The Head Of Your Wife
To be the head means to take the responsibility - NOT to be the "boss". You should take the full responsibility for the life that you and your wife have together.

In order to do that properly, you also have to take the responsibility to study the Word of God in order to find God's will for you and your wife.

You should never do anything, or expect your wife to do anything, that falls outside the will of God!
That is the meaning of being the head of the household.

Respect Your Wife
You should respect your wife as a human being. But also respect her as a woman - more specifically, the woman that was given to you by God. She is very special, because she is the one made by God specifically for you.

You also have to respect her opinions and ideas, as well as her ambitions, dreams and wishes.

Never think that yours are the only important dreams or ambitions, but realise that your wife has just as much right to having her own ambitions and dreams because she is also a child of God, just like you.
When you make love to your wife you also have to respect her sexual preferences. Never force her to do anything that makes her uncomfortable.

Give Her Security
Your wife needs security. This is one of the fundamental things that you should provide.

But "security" does not only involve money, although financial security is part and parcel of the security that you should provide.

However, if you give your wife a million dollars "to keep her happy" while you go gallivanting all over, you are not providing her with real security.

Real security is for her to know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that you love her with all your heart. Real security is for her to know that you will never, ever be unfaithful to her. Real security is for her to know that she can always rely on you to assist her with anything and everything that she requires your help with. Real security is for her to know that you find her attractive. Real security is for her to know that you do not wish to have sex with any other woman on earth. And, finally, real security is also to provide for her and the family financially.

You have to provide your wife with security because that is what God expects you to do. But you also have to provide her with security because a lack of security is a big part of why women would eventually cheat on their husbands - to try and find someone who will give her security.


In order to be a Good Christian Husband there are many things you should do. The beginning of them all is to let yourself be guided by the Word of God. If you are a Good Man as God intended for you to be, you will be a Good Husband according to God's Word.

OTHER MARRIAGE RELATED POSTS

Dear Readers,
I have other articles written under my pen name,Thomas Brooks,and posted at Triond.com
Some of the articles are:

1) The Difference Between Urgent and Important issues in One's Life :   http://socyberty.com/advice/the-difference-between-urgent-and-important-issues-in-ones-life/

2) The make-up of a real man in marriage : http://socyberty.com/relationships/the-make-up-of-a-real-man-in-a-marriage/

3) The three components of love in a marriage : http://beyondjane.com/family/marriage/the-three-components-of-love-in-a-marriage/

4) Has the wine in your marriage run out?  http://socyberty.com/relationships/has-the-wine-in-your-marriage-run-out/

5) Wrong foundations in marriage:
http://beyondjane.com/family/marriage/wrong-foundations-in-marriage/

6) How to be united in marriage : http://beyondjane.com/family/marriage/how-to-be-united-in-marriage/

7) The benefits of being an author : http://writinghood.com/writing/the-five-questions-an-aspiring-author-must-ask-himself/

8) The five questions an aspiring author must ask himself : http://writinghood.com/writing/the-five-questions-an-aspiring-author-must-ask-himself/

9) The God-type of Marriage : http://beyondjane.com/family/marriage/the-god-type-of-marriage/

10) The reason why online dating is not suitable : http://socyberty.com/relationships/the-reason-why-online-dating-is-not-suitable/

11) Seven sure-fire ways to poverty : http://authspot.com/thoughts/seven-surefire-ways-to-poverty/

12) Superficial marital intimacy : http://socyberty.com/relationships/superficial-marital-intimacy/

13) Love:The only secret to everlasting marital bliss
http://socyberty.com/advice/lovethe-only-secret-to-everlasting-marital-bliss/

14)How a wife can cope with an overbearing mother-in-law
    http://beyondjane.com/family/marriage/how-a-wife-can-cope-with-
an-over-bearing-mother-in-law/


Ayodele Adegbulugbe
Lagos, Nigeria
2348035978352